Jason Vana: Becoming a Better Man

Healing Past →

Photo Credit: Anna Levinzon (Creative Commons)

Did you ever struggle with that in your past?

The question reached across the table and smacked me in the face. I wasn’t expecting that question to come up. Didn’t think it would work it’s way into our conversation. How did we get on this topic anyway?

During the split second between being asked the question and giving my response, I had what felt like an hour long conversation with myself.

Do I tell the truth? Do I share that part of my life? Can I trust this person? How will he respond? Will he think less of me? Will things be awkward? Should I even care? Could I get away with saying no? Am I ready to open that part of my life up? Why is he calling me out on it, when I wasn’t the only one at the table? Am I somehow still struggling with my past? Is there some kind of tell-tale sign? Am I really not over this thing? Why are we talking about this in public? And on a Saturday? Isn’t this too deep for a conversation over coffee? God, can I please, please, PLEASE say no?

Yes…
…
…
And here’s how God transformed me in the process.

Read more and join the conversation!

Healing Past →

Photo Credit: Anna Levinzon (Creative Commons)

Did you ever struggle with that in your past?

The question reached across the table and smacked me in the face. I wasn’t expecting that question to come up. Didn’t think it would work it’s way into our conversation. How did we get on this topic anyway?

During the split second between being asked the question and giving my response, I had what felt like an hour long conversation with myself.

Do I tell the truth? Do I share that part of my life? Can I trust this person? How will he respond? Will he think less of me? Will things be awkward? Should I even care? Could I get away with saying no? Am I ready to open that part of my life up? Why is he calling me out on it, when I wasn’t the only one at the table? Am I somehow still struggling with my past? Is there some kind of tell-tale sign? Am I really not over this thing? Why are we talking about this in public? And on a Saturday? Isn’t this too deep for a conversation over coffee? God, can I please, please, PLEASE say no?

Yes…
…
…
And here’s how God transformed me in the process.

Read more and join the conversation!

Removing our Masks →

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy”
Proverbs 28:13

We all wear masks.
We all have those facades we hide behind.

We tell people we’re doing great, when really, it feels like life is falling apart.
We pretend we have everything together, when really we’re clueless as to what is going on.
We act as if our finances are in order, when really we wonder how we will pay this month’s bills.
We show acceptance and love to those who have hurt us, when really, we’re dying from the pain inside.
We go to church, small group, help with the youth ministry and act as if we are close to God, when really He feels a million miles away.

We don’t like people to see where we’re broken.

We make a mistake, we sin, we step outside God’s plan for our lives and our immediate reaction is to hide.
Cover it up.
Pretend everything is okay.

It’s something we’ve been doing since the Garden.

READ MORE…

Removing our Masks →

“He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy”
Proverbs 28:13

We all wear masks.
We all have those facades we hide behind.

We tell people we’re doing great, when really, it feels like life is falling apart.
We pretend we have everything together, when really we’re clueless as to what is going on.
We act as if our finances are in order, when really we wonder how we will pay this month’s bills.
We show acceptance and love to those who have hurt us, when really, we’re dying from the pain inside.
We go to church, small group, help with the youth ministry and act as if we are close to God, when really He feels a million miles away.

We don’t like people to see where we’re broken.

We make a mistake, we sin, we step outside God’s plan for our lives and our immediate reaction is to hide.
Cover it up.
Pretend everything is okay.

It’s something we’ve been doing since the Garden.

READ MORE…

Wise in our Brokenness →

Sharing our brokenness isn’t easy.
Putting our weakness on display isn’t second nature to us.

It requires pulling down the walls around our heart. It means opening ourselves up to ridicule and rejection. It leaves us standing before someone completely vulnerable and giving them information they could easily use to turn around and stab us in the back.

It’s intimidating.
Scary.
Goes against everything we’ve been taught.

And leaves us vulnerable to more hurt and pain.

We don’t like showing weakness in front of others. We don’t want to put ourselves in a place where others can hurt us even more. We strive to keep ourselves from being at the mercy of someone else.

It’s not fun to share our brokenness.
Especially within the church.

READ MORE…

Wise in our Brokenness →

Sharing our brokenness isn’t easy.
Putting our weakness on display isn’t second nature to us.

It requires pulling down the walls around our heart. It means opening ourselves up to ridicule and rejection. It leaves us standing before someone completely vulnerable and giving them information they could easily use to turn around and stab us in the back.

It’s intimidating.
Scary.
Goes against everything we’ve been taught.

And leaves us vulnerable to more hurt and pain.

We don’t like showing weakness in front of others. We don’t want to put ourselves in a place where others can hurt us even more. We strive to keep ourselves from being at the mercy of someone else.

It’s not fun to share our brokenness.
Especially within the church.

READ MORE…

Brokenness on Display →

We don’t like sharing our brokenness.
We aren’t naturally inclined to put our weakness on display.

We would rather hide our mistakes, cover up our faults, mask our weaknesses and brokenness, and pretend our areas of sin and shame don’t exist.

It’s how Adam and Eve responded when they sinned.

Scriptures say when they ate of the fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, their eyes were opened, they recognized good from evil, saw they were naked, and felt shame.

So they covered themselves with leaves.
And hid from God.

They didn’t want God to see the mistake they made. They didn’t want to put their areas of weakness and vulnerability on display, both physically and emotionally. They knew they were flawed, they saw their brokenness, and they wanted to hide.

It’s what we continue to do today.

READ MORE…

Brokenness on Display →

We don’t like sharing our brokenness.
We aren’t naturally inclined to put our weakness on display.

We would rather hide our mistakes, cover up our faults, mask our weaknesses and brokenness, and pretend our areas of sin and shame don’t exist.

It’s how Adam and Eve responded when they sinned.

Scriptures say when they ate of the fruit of the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil, their eyes were opened, they recognized good from evil, saw they were naked, and felt shame.

So they covered themselves with leaves.
And hid from God.

They didn’t want God to see the mistake they made. They didn’t want to put their areas of weakness and vulnerability on display, both physically and emotionally. They knew they were flawed, they saw their brokenness, and they wanted to hide.

It’s what we continue to do today.

READ MORE…

Breaking the Heart of God →

We all sin.
It’s not a particularly new revelation.

We know our faults and flaws. We know where we fall short. We’re painfully aware of our areas of brokenness. We know when we choose our own selfish wants and desires over the needs of others. We’re intimate with the lust and envy and anger in our lives. We could easily point out what we need to work on, the ways in which we put God to the side and how we fail at pursuing Him with our whole heart.

And we know the consequences of those sins.

We know how sin separates us from God. How it makes us def to His voice. We know how it eats away at us, destroys our character and our reputation, and makes us less than ideal reflections of our Savior.

You don’t have to be following Christ long to know that sin leads to death.

Death of our hearts.
Death of our souls.
Death of the compassion and love and generosity within.

So we set up rules. We establish regulations. We make a list of things we should and shouldn’t do in an effort to stop ourselves from sin.

And believe God is angry when we break those rules.

READ MORE…

Breaking the Heart of God →

We all sin.
It’s not a particularly new revelation.

We know our faults and flaws. We know where we fall short. We’re painfully aware of our areas of brokenness. We know when we choose our own selfish wants and desires over the needs of others. We’re intimate with the lust and envy and anger in our lives. We could easily point out what we need to work on, the ways in which we put God to the side and how we fail at pursuing Him with our whole heart.

And we know the consequences of those sins.

We know how sin separates us from God. How it makes us def to His voice. We know how it eats away at us, destroys our character and our reputation, and makes us less than ideal reflections of our Savior.

You don’t have to be following Christ long to know that sin leads to death.

Death of our hearts.
Death of our souls.
Death of the compassion and love and generosity within.

So we set up rules. We establish regulations. We make a list of things we should and shouldn’t do in an effort to stop ourselves from sin.

And believe God is angry when we break those rules.

READ MORE…