Photo Credit: Matt Litt (Creative Commons)
I sat there in the dark, reflecting on what my life had become.
The passion I once had for ministry was gone. The desire to see young people around the world impacted for Christ almost non-existant.
Life had taken its toll on me.
I had been working a low-paying, demeaning job for almost three years. I sat there, day in and day out doing the work a college student used to do - and would get paid more for if they decided to work at Taco Bell. I applied for better positions within the company, only to be rejected…and required to train those who took the jobs I didn’t get.
My finances were shot. Surprisingly, it’s near impossible to live on $800 a month. My credit card debt, which used to be non-existent, was climbing. And it urked me. It was either go into debt, or starve. I chose the former.
Every month it was getting harder and harder to pay the bills - and I knew it was only a matter of time before I couldn’t pay my mortgage anymore.
Why am I still here?
Why am I trying to fight through this mess?
I’m not from this area. I have no ties here.
If God really wants me to keep doing ministry here, He needs to fork over the money. Or I’m out of here. And out of ministry. For good.
I curled back up on the bed as the depression set in.
Nothing’s ever going to change. My life will be like this forever - alone, miserable, and broke.
I needed a resurrection.